Less than 2 weeks!!

I really can't believe how little I have used this blog. Kinda bumbs me out. I thought I would be documenting ever thought and feeling. It's probably good though. Nobody needs to remember that much. I do however want to document how difficult this pregnancy has been for me. Not in a bad way. I feel like the things we go through are to teach us things and make us stronger and HOPEFULLY I am a little bit stronger from the things that I have had to go through with this pregnancy. Either that or I hope that someday I will benefit from them somehow :). My body was not in good shape when I got pregnant. My back was bad, my weight was bad. I kept telling myself I wanted to get in better shape first, but then things just didn't happen that way. I know that this has played a huge role in the struggles I've been through. I am not sure that it is entirely that, I know that my body is getting older and that I have been pregnant a lot of times :). My doctor made sure to mention that it will get harder with each one, but I have to disagree... my last one was probably one of my easiest. It's so hard for me to believe that with my last pregnancy, at this point in it, I was moving my family across the country from Alaska. I was packing, unpacking and unpacking and unpacking that whole last month. It was a lot of work, a lot of stress, and a LOT for someone who was pregnant, but I did it all!! There is absolutely NO WAY I could pull that move off this time!! And maybe I should just be grateful that I was able to do that then, but this time I have had a hard time simply scrubbing the table off after each meal because of contractions and pain..... what is wrong with me?!! Meanwhile, the laundry and dishes and whatever else has fallen behind significantly. Course Monday, I had had enough of it all and finally broke down and just completely overdid it! I cleaned teh whole house, got everything very nice, and then just about died! The whole next day was spent laying down, trying to relax so that I wasn't having so many contractions and so much pain. It's nuts. But we are down to 2 weeks. I know that it will go faster than I think. I know that eventually I will feel like I am not ready and that I need more time (since I usually do), but for now, I am just as anxious as can be. The suspense is definitely killing me. I had a really amazing Priesthood Blessing last night that kind of helped with the nerves. I need to remember to calm down, relax, and just enjoy these last two weeks. I need to get in tune with this little Spirit that is joining our family and be ready for what her life hands us. I know taht she is special and that she will be a special part of our family. I can't wait to meet her.