Less than 2 weeks!!

I really can't believe how little I have used this blog. Kinda bumbs me out. I thought I would be documenting ever thought and feeling. It's probably good though. Nobody needs to remember that much. I do however want to document how difficult this pregnancy has been for me. Not in a bad way. I feel like the things we go through are to teach us things and make us stronger and HOPEFULLY I am a little bit stronger from the things that I have had to go through with this pregnancy. Either that or I hope that someday I will benefit from them somehow :). My body was not in good shape when I got pregnant. My back was bad, my weight was bad. I kept telling myself I wanted to get in better shape first, but then things just didn't happen that way. I know that this has played a huge role in the struggles I've been through. I am not sure that it is entirely that, I know that my body is getting older and that I have been pregnant a lot of times :). My doctor made sure to mention that it will get harder with each one, but I have to disagree... my last one was probably one of my easiest. It's so hard for me to believe that with my last pregnancy, at this point in it, I was moving my family across the country from Alaska. I was packing, unpacking and unpacking and unpacking that whole last month. It was a lot of work, a lot of stress, and a LOT for someone who was pregnant, but I did it all!! There is absolutely NO WAY I could pull that move off this time!! And maybe I should just be grateful that I was able to do that then, but this time I have had a hard time simply scrubbing the table off after each meal because of contractions and pain..... what is wrong with me?!! Meanwhile, the laundry and dishes and whatever else has fallen behind significantly. Course Monday, I had had enough of it all and finally broke down and just completely overdid it! I cleaned teh whole house, got everything very nice, and then just about died! The whole next day was spent laying down, trying to relax so that I wasn't having so many contractions and so much pain. It's nuts. But we are down to 2 weeks. I know that it will go faster than I think. I know that eventually I will feel like I am not ready and that I need more time (since I usually do), but for now, I am just as anxious as can be. The suspense is definitely killing me. I had a really amazing Priesthood Blessing last night that kind of helped with the nerves. I need to remember to calm down, relax, and just enjoy these last two weeks. I need to get in tune with this little Spirit that is joining our family and be ready for what her life hands us. I know taht she is special and that she will be a special part of our family. I can't wait to meet her.

What to call this post?...... complaining? yeah, that will work

So, I've hit the stage where it's impossible to get comfortable. Laying down is the worst. Sitting is bearable, but it seems the only position I can breathe comfortably in is standing up and we all know how comfortable that is during pregnancy. Yeah, I'm up late, unable to sleep because my heart is beating so fast and my breathing is so short..... so you're stuck hearing about it I guess :). It's really crappy. I remember this stage from previous pregnancies, but I think I know why I've supressed it so much. And then to top it off I got this sunburn a few weeks ago and ever since then, my shoulders and back have been itching like CRAZY! This is another weird phenomenon that happnes with my body during pregnancy.... my skin cannot seem to heal very well. It does weird things. I remember the skin on my finger completely tearing off after having a bandaid on it. It was like it had disintigrated off. Weird. Pregnancy does weird things. Not that I don't think it's worth it. I am still thrilled about my baby girl. In fact I've been way into making things for her lately. I made her a couple of cute little bracelets, and we're going to tie the edges of a fleece blanket for her tomorrow, from the girls. It will be fun. I found a few patterns of things I am going to try as soon as I have the money to buy the materials. The girls want to get a loom to make little snow hats too..... they're worse than me with the whole nesting thing I think :) It's cute. So anyway. As crappy as I feel this is a wonderful blessing and I am excited. I just need to keep that in perspective and I will be okay with the lack of sleep and comfort....

the sea of hormones rages on

Yeah, so I don't know if I just jinxed myself with that last post or what, but I feel like ever since then I have been on the emotional roller coaster of my life!! There have been some interesting changes in our life, but overall, I can only blame the hormones! I feel liek I have NO control over my emotions at all. And every thought that comes through my head is just stuck in there forever until it is beat to death and then kicked a couple more times. It's ridiculous. If I've said it once I've said it a million times.... this part gets worse with each pregnancy. I think if we are to get pregnant again after this, I will certainly end up in a straight jacket. It's bad. So anyway. Just trying to overcome this part. I know that prayers are helping and reading my scriptures helps me to focus. I feel like my mood is SOOOOOO swingy!!! So it's difficult to even get to any of it all, but that has definitely been carrying me. And my sweet husband. He is so patient. I am not sure how he deals with it all...... hopefully he is :) Anyway.
I have been feeling so close to my little one lately. I feel like I know her so well already. It's strange to think I could know someone whom I've never met, but that just tells me that we have. I feel like there is a special closeness between she and Noah as well..... not sure why I feel that way (could be the hormones), but I feel like he is being prepared for her to come either way. It's fun to watch the tender mercies of the Lord witnessed in my everyday life. And why not when such a miracle as the birth of a baby is nearing. I love it. This is one of my most favorite things.

It's nice to know that this too shall pass and that I will make it out alive (most likely). I keep wondering what she will look like and how her delivery and such will go, but it's nice to know that it will all be okay. I feel like Heavenly Father has been blessing me with that knowledge. I'm grateful.

A little peek through the clouds

Okay, so I have to say, that all of a sudden I feel like I am back. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but the first trimester of pregnancy for me is like covered in a haze. I'm living in a foggy world where everything is distant, or not visible. It's just weird. And I feel like I"m completely out of it. So usually the first trimester my house is a disaster, my family is out of control, and I am hormonal and just sick. During the second trimester I start to feel the fog lift. It has taken a LOT longer this time (as I am nearing the end of the 2nd trimester), but normally the 2nd is when I start to get my grip with reality back. I notice what things have been neglected, I work on getting things back in order, and eventually make a new routine for myself. It's rarely the same one I had before getting pregnant, but it's close, and it works. So that is where I am right now. I am starting to feel like things are just WAY out of control, but that I can actually do something about it. I have all these ideas formulating in my mind of how to organize my house, how to get my kids under control, and I feel the need to do it all. It's good. I'm surprised to be feeling this way with how my back has been acting lately, but it's good. Normally I have things pretty under control by the third trimester and we can all just sit back and enjoy the routine. At least until the baby comes and it all gets thrown out the window with the nursing schedule :) but until then!
I feel pretty good emotionally. I'm glad.
This little girl is VERY active. This is good! I love being able to feel her move around and knowing that she is there and alive. For some reason I worry about that too much, so she's been helping me to not worry. I am getting mroe and more anxious to go shopping and spend too much money on cute clothes. We really don't have much for her yet. HOpefully we can work up a good wardrobe and have things for her to wear :) I need them put out the winter clothes :)

It's a GIRL!!!

We had our ultrasound today!!! We found out that she is in fact a GIRL!! I shouldn't bring this up, but I am still a little untrusting of our doctor ever since he messed up on Luke. Luke was a girl for a month. But I'm going to go shopping soon and I will come to grips with it all :) I am very excited!!! I cannot wait!! Everything else looked good as well!!

2nd Appointment

We went to the doctor today. I loved it! We actually didn't get a babysitter, so we had four of our five with us there to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It is always SO amazing to me to hear that little thumping. This baby has a nice strong, steady one. It's funny because I was totally starting to wonder if there was anything alive in there anymore since I haven't felt any movement yet, and because I"m just a paranoid mommy. But it was such a relief and so sweet to hear that heartbeat again. That should get me through the next 4 weeks :) The kids were excited to hear the heartbeat and are still arguing over whether it is a girl or a boy :) Dr. Thackeray joked that we would come in for our ultrasound next time to "find out it's a boy". HA HA! I really feel open minded this time about whether it is a boy or a girl. I think either one would be awesome. I think that people think we're craving a girl by now, but for me, I think I would be okay either way. We do get to go do our ultrasound on the 29th, I'm excited about that.
The other day my mom said that she was "starting to see my baby now" and I just laughed! I really don't feel like I am showing down there. I really look more like I swallowed a baby! My stomach is seriously sticking out (the top part, not where my uterus is) and it looks AWFUL!! It's all chubby. And normally I can suck in that section, well, not anymore! It's so embarrassing. I kinda hope this baby can start growing so that we can even things out. I must be getting a little bigger down in the baby section though because I only have one pair of pants left that don't hurt, and I am even having to unbutton them when I'm sitting down (partly due to the muffin top). I would rather just look pregnant than fat.

week 15

I'm starting to crave my next doctor appointment. This is about the time that I start to worry. The third week out from my last appointment. I haven't felt my baby move yet (which I'm sure is fine) and it stresses me out. I definitely am not missing out on any of the hormones. I can't seem to get away from the nausea. That's hard for me at this point since I usually feel better at week 14. It's annoying. Nate told me that he thinks this has been the hardest pregnancy so far. Do we just forget??? I was remembering some of the happenings when I was pregnant with my first and it did seem pretty bad back then. But the easier part was that I could lay in bed ALL I WANTED! There wasn't anyone to wake up for and take care of. Now there are 5. It sure is a different type of job. I must say I do feel like this pregnancy is helping me to be closer to Heavenly Father. I feel like I've done a lot more praying than I normally do. I feel like I've turned to him for relief a lot more. It's nice. I've been reading a book about the Atonement and I'm really starting to understand it a lot better and this has been really helpful in using the Atonement for comfort.
I am getting really anxious for this baby. I want to know the gender so badly! I really don't know this time. I automatically assume it's a girl (Nate and the girls all think it is) but there's seomthing that keeps making me think it's a boy. Either way is totally fine with me, but it drives me crazy to not know. I want to buy it something :)
Not much else going on..... just feeling like crap still. I'll have to think of something interesting to write about.

First Doctor Visit

So, back on the 5th of May I went in for my first appointment. It was so fun to be able to see the baby in the ultrasound, and know that there was for sure a healthy baby growing in there. I don't know why I wonder, but I always do. I sure wish I had gone in sooner because it really rested my mind a lot. We have a great doctor, he always explains all the usual stuff to us even though we've been a million times. Which really helps because, HELLO, we wouldn't be here if we remembered it all from last time!! He did mention that he would refer me to a physical therapist for my back, and then forgot to give me the referral, but I need to just call him I guess. I should. My back is really bad this time. And I am SOOOOOOO tired!!!!! I've slept so much while Nate's been home. Which is definitely a nice blessing, it's just too bad for him. I feel like a crappy mom lately and that doesn't make me feel any better. I can definitely sense the mood swings, coming on pretty strong the last few days especially. And I"m not even going to go into how disappointed I am that I still feel like crap. I usually get better (like overnight) around the 14th week, well, that's in a few days. So hopefully!!!!
We finally started telling people. These were their reactions and I must say... I was pleasantly surprised and relieved with most of them.
My Dad- congratulations
My Mom- congratulations, but why did you tell someone else before me
My younger brother- high five, congratulations
Nana- "I thought you figured out what was causing that?"
My sister- why didn't you tell me sooner?
Nate's family- congratulations! how exciting! When is it due.....

Brad, Luke and Noah were with us at the Dr. office and saw the ultrasound. I don't know why I thought this wouldn't ocurr to them, but they have seen several ultrasound pictures so it shouldn't have surprised us when Bradley shouts out... A BABY! So we told the boys on the way home. Bradley wants to name the baby Batman if it's a boy and Rosabelle if it's a girl.
Brad made the announcement to Kelly and she asked me later but I skirted around the question to see if I could think of a more fun way to tell her and Charity together.
Well, didn't really happen, we ended up telling them on the way to Temple Square just showing them the picture. They're not as good at keeping it a secret, so it is probalby just going to be out now. In fact one of the ladies at church said that Charity made an announcement in Primary.... oh well. I don't need to keep it a secret I guess. I just like to. The kids are all VERY thrilled though. Makes me happy that they are not bummed or bored with the whole idea yet. I bet if they were older and could really remember the torture of pregnancy and a new baby they would be annoyed with it :) I am thankful that they are such good kids and so willing to go down this road with us again. Charity and Kelly are REALLY hoping for a girl. I'm trying to help them not get so set on it since we don't know and that has happened several times, but we all are kind of expecting a girl I think. Not aht we wouldn't be happy with a boy. I personally think it would be nice to break up this threesome and have two and two that could pair off..... but that's just me. I love the idea of either I guess. They're cute about it though. And we talk about this baby ALL the time. They all want to touch my tummy every second (even though I'm really not showing yet). That's not to say that my pants don't feel like they're bruising me of course. I have to do the hairthing on the button trick already. I am going to have to buy maternity clothes. The ones I have are getting old and they are all really hot sweatery type clothes. I am looking forward to the fact that the end of this pregnancy shouldn't be too hot. Kind of like my last two. We've planned this out well ;) I'm grateful.
So that's about it. I really do feel like crap so that might explain my inability to post anything. I want this nausea to be OVER!!!

10 weeks

So, I'm in the middle of my tenth week. I know it's been a while, but this nausea has really taken over my life! I do not remember EVER feeling this sick. What in the world is going on! I seriously feel like all I do is try to convince myself that i want to eat, then eat, and then feel sick seconds later. It's annoying. I got really sick last week on the my husband's day off (which can be looked at as a huge blessing, or a really huge let down. He spent most of his day off cleaning up my throw up).
On the other hand, I really can't stop thinking about my sweet little baby that is growing inside of me right now. I get way excited to think about whether it is a girl or a boy. I want to know so bad!! I really am wishing I would have scheduled my OB appointment for sooner. I did this last time too, I scheduled it for later just to cut down on visits. They do get kind of old after a while. I wish I hadn't though because I am really anxious to hear this baby's heartbeat and make sure that things are going well. I did have a Priesthood blessing the other day though where I was told that this baby is growing and healthy, so that was a relief. I don't know what I would do without the Priesthood. It brings me so much comfort with so many things in my life.
So yeah, my back pain is back and times 10. My chest pain continues, and actually feels a lot more like heartburn than before, but that's to be expected. I wish I knew what was wrong with my stomach and had something to remedy the problem. I took the pills that Dr. Miles gave me last Sunday and I can't stop wondering if that is what made me so sick on Monday. No logical explanation, just a feeling, but I'm learning to trust my feelings more and more.
I have been craving salad. Yep, regular old green salad with all the toppings. And I have to have RANCH DRESSING!! I about died the other night when I realized we were out. Had it not been Sunday, I would have sent Nate out to get me some. But I guess it's better that than the Fries and Fry sauce I craved with most of my other pregnancies. Or the caramel popcorn, or the raisinettes. Could be worse. I have been eating a LOT of Spearimint Life Savers as well. They seem to be quite the Life Savers in all of my nausea situations. It's been good. That and gum. I finally felt okay today and I think it was because I ate breakfast this morning first thing. I thought I was going to hurl it up the whole time, and for about an hour afterward, but I do think it helped me with the next few hours. Who knows. I really just feel like I can't eat enough, but that I hate eating. It's odd.
Nate has been my Knight in Shining Armor lately. He's really been picking up a lot of the slack and there's been a LOT! He has been really affectionate and very sweet with me. I love that. He is WAY helpful with the kids too, and that right now, is PRICELESS!!!
Well, that's all my ramblings for now. I'm kinda wanting a salad now after talking about it. I will try not to take so long to post. Not that anyone is reading this, but I really want to document it. Oh, I forgot to mention that I am not fitting in one of my pants anymore. Kind of soon in my opinion, but I'm not ready to get out the maternity, so I think the hairthing around the button is going to have to do for now :) Time to buy some new maternity clothes too I think. I have none left it seems like.
Okay, the end.

Week 7 ish

This pregnancy is crazy! I think I hit an all-time low (for this pregnancy) with the nausea! I felt AWFUL today! I think it was mostly because I didn't eat last night. If I eat late at night (which I know is terrible for my metabolism, but I do what I gotta do) I feel better in the morning. I felt terrible this morning, and then it just got worse! To make it worse we didn't have any food in the house. I was starving and sick at the same time and I knew that if I just ate something I would feel better. So I finally just dragged my 5 kids down to the store and bought some groceries! It was good to finally eat something but I was still way sick and tired! Luckily I had a few little unexpected blessings and the afternoon flew by. But anyway. I hope that was the last day like that for a while.
I need to get myself out of this emotional low! I feel SO UNMOTIVATED to do ANYTHING! I have let my dishes go for 2 days again (the no dishwasher thing is not helping), and the laundry too..... I just keep trying to get myself to do it and it just doesn't happen. I hate it! I feel bad because Nate has been sick too so we've both just been dead beat parents sitting around doing nothing. This is a stage that I am always aware of and I know it will go away, but UGH!!! I can't believe i still have like 32 more weeks of this! I'm excited for a baby though....funny how I can muster up some excitement when I feel so crappy :) Sweet little spirits can do miracles!
So, I keep stressing about this talk I have to give on Sunday. I am not sure what to do with all the butterflies....I wish they could just tell me the day before because I just stress about it the whole time before. I'm excited to give a talk again though, it's been a while.
I'm really hoping we can get Nate's raise soon and be able to get into a house. It really worries me that we will not be able to get into a house before the baby comes. I hate the thought of being stuck in this basement with a new baby again. I am grateful to have a place to live, but it's a tough one for me to not stress about. Obviously STRESS is a big factor for me when I"m pregnant. I need to stop thinking.
I have been having really strange dreams lately.....gotta love that. They're not my favorite. I won't go into them.
I can't wait to tell the girls about this baby. I know they will be so excited. It's easier for them if they don't have to anticipate it for 9 months though. We'll tell them soon. We have to wait until we want everyone else to know too since they're not as good at keeping secrets yet :)
I remembered another reason I like to wait. I hate the thought of people thinking that i get pregnant for attention or to be babied ya know. I know some have thought that (at least with baby number 2 it was mentioned) so I hate to let people think that ever again. I don't do it for attention. I don't like attention. I like to have babies. I do like the sweet spirit that is there when a baby is brought into the world. I do think that that one special moment is what pulls me through each pregnancy. Pretty crazy that it would! But I love it! So anyway. That's my ramblings for today.

6 weeks and a little bit

Okay well, in case you didn't notice, by the long silence, I started feeling sick. This is good in that now I'm not stressing about not being all the way pregnant (or losing the baby), but I REALLY hate being sick. This is always SO hard for me. I feel like crap all day long! Today I had to keep laying down and then dragging myself back up. The kids just run around like crazy destroying the place and I can't do anything about it. I can't believe how little energy I have and how little motivation I can muster up. I feel like I'm going to throw up ALL DAY!! I feel like I'm starving all day too, but when I think about food I just want to vomit. Everything I eat tastes gross and doesn't feel good to eat, but if I don't eat I just get weaker and dizzier. I'm trying to just keep eating because that's always helped in the past, but the nausea is not going away like it usually does. It's been crazy. And I now throw up out the other end. Takes a lot longer to get to the things I eat, but I think I prefer it to throwing up. I don't know.
I do have to say (brag a little) that on the bright side I did get right up out of bed the first time I woke up, which is UNHEARD OF for me even when I'm not pregnant. AND I kept going ALL day! I have not stopped to nap since Nate got home. I made a really nice dinner, and still had enough energy (or pretended to) to do family night, learn Kelly's new song, and laugh and smile while we were at the store. I'm proud of myself but also VERY thankful to my Heavenly Father. I know he was with me every step of my day. He has been very close to me lately and I am grateful. I know it's because I am relying on him more and turning to him more when I need strength and encouragement. It's been really nice. This is how I always want it to be when I'm pregnant, but I don't really feel like it's been quite this good with any of the others. Who knows :) It's only been a week since I found out :) But I'm optimistic!
I feel like I'm getting fat already (as I should with all the food I've been eating). I keep wondering what this baby's gender is. I want to know!! I can't believe how anxious I am already....I still have like 33 more weeks! Crazy. Well, I need to go get registered on Americanpregnancy.com so I can keep up on what this baby is doing! I love that!

The hardest part about pregnancy for me

So this is kind of a touchy subject, but I just have to get my feelings down. After all the excited feelings on Saturday and Sunday, yesterday I started thinking about how hard it was to tell people that we were pregnant with like the last 4! For some reason I really dread telling people that we are having ANOTHER baby. For some reason people think it's their business to tell you when you ahve too many kisd or that they are too close together, or "haven't you heard of birth control". Yeah, we get that one a lot. My family was funny because they just all got mad at me for waiting so long to tell them last time. We were living out of state, so no one saw me and so we waited until I was like 4 or 5 months along. They were ticked about that and there was little focus on the number, but then once that wore off....... I just hate how people can't just get excited for us. I don't tell anyone else how many kids to have and I don't claim to think that this is THE ONLY WAY to have a family. I believe that it is different for everyone. I definitely think that there are some people who were just meant to have big families, and those who weren't. I've never thought that my way was the only way. It is the best way for me though. I do appreciate those who are genuinely excited for us. I appreciate those who I get really excited to tell. It's hard to keep my excitement all to myself, but sometimes that seems like the only way to keep it exciting for me. I know six is a lot of kids!!! I'm WELL aware of "how full my hands are!" I really don't need the reminder. But for some reason this is how it is for us! And we like it!! I really wouldn't have it any other way. I need to just hang on to the fact that I know we are doing the right thing for us and that this is what we want and that's all that matters. I know I'm overly sensitive about the whole thing. Time to work on that I guess. But for now......we will keep it a secret I think :)

Week 6

I'm still not feeling all that sick yet. Maybe I'm a dork for this, but that makes me worry just a little that I could miscarry. I've never had a miscarriage though, so the thought just scares me. I could easily be the fact that the medicine they gave me for my stomach is just helping. Who knows. I will just be grateful that I don't feel too sick yet. I know it can be worse.

I know that this is crucial development time, so I am trying to be really good about what I eat and take in. I want to be sure this baby is getting what it needs. (I hate calling it an it, as soon as I can, I am finding out the gender)

I am getting really excited for this baby though. I totally think it's a boy, probably just because the last 2 pregnancies we have expected a girl and gotten a boy. We'll see. My hubby says he thinks it's a girl. We know that there is at least one more girl coming to our family though. Just really strong feelings. I just want a healthy baby!

Before the pregnancy test

Well, March 13th came and went with no period.
About 3 months ago, Nate and I decided that it was feeling like time to start preparing for our next baby. We felt like there were a few areas that needed some work with our family before we would feel comfortable bringing another child into it. We stopped using our birth control, and started calculating when I would be ovulating. I was kind of anxious to have a baby during the months of August, September, or November, but not Oct., Dec., or Jan, Feb, Mar. for the simple fact that we already have birthdays in those months. I know it sounds silly, but that's how my brain works. OF COURSE I would be fine with whenever, I am not picky, but if I could choose, this is how I would. So anyway. I knew when I needed to get pregnant to have a baby during the months I wanted. We tried for a month or so before realizing that it would probably be smart for me to go to the doctor and figure out what might be wrong with my back and chest (I had been having a lot of pain). I scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN as well to get a pap smear and talk about my painful periods. They found nothing there, and we decided that my endometriosis could very well be back. ("might take a while to get pregnant again" crossed my mind) I double-checked with the doctor that things were okay for us to have another c-section and that he didn't discourage. He had no reservations, told me everything looked great and that while there are more risks with repeats, he didn't think we had anything to worry about.
So I went in for my back and chest pain and that led to LOTS and LOTS of tests and x-rays. It was really discouraging in the getting pregnant area. Nate and I both agreed that (even though it meant missing the November mark and possibly having to have a baby in a month that we already had a bday) we would kind of hold off on trying. I "knew" exactly when I would be ovulating, we avoided doing it during that time (that I thought would be pregnant getting time) and we went on our way. WELL! On March 13th I had my follow-up visit with the Doc to review all the tests I had had done, and basically came to no conclusion other than that my chest pain was possibly gastric and I would need to go in for a really weird stomach test to rule out some weird problem. I assured my doctor that I was not pregnant and couldn't possibly be. So he made arrangements to have those tests done, and he gave me some pills to lower the acid in my stomach. We went home and felt very unresolved and I was really frustrated with the whole thing just because I hate not knowing what is wrong. Not to mention he had pretty much thrown the whole back pain thing out the window and was no longer even looking into it. So anyway. Well, after a few days of missing my period, I started to really wonder. By then I was totally convinced that I was pregnant (in my head) and VERY thrilled!!! I felt like this was meant to be and that it was really exciting, but I didn't want to get my hopes up like I have in the past. I got the idea that maybe it was a weird side effect from the medicine I was taking (yeah, I know it's a stretch), but I wanted to at least find out. So I called the nurse at my doctor's office and left her a message that i had missed my period for a week and wanted to find out for sure if it was possibly a side effect. I wasn't really feeling sick yet, so there wasn't a whole lot to work with as far as symptoms. She told me that that was really not possible, and urged me to take a pregnancy test. So even though I usually like to wait a while (just to kill some time) to take a test, I decided to follow orders and bought a home test. This was Friday the 20th. I wanted to wait until the next morning to get the morning pee. So all Friday night I was just so nervous!!! I don't know why, but I was just so anxious! And it's happened in the past that the day I go to take my test I start my period. I think before #5 that it happened RIGHT AS I went to take the test. That was really hard for me. I know this sounds dumb, coming from someone who already has 5 kids, but it's really hard for me to think of losing one. So anyway. Friday night I started feeling a little crampy (which can be normal for me during pregnancy) but it got me worried that I was going to start. So I said a little prayer asking Heavenly Father to not let me bleed and to please let me be pregnant. I know this must sound so silly, but I really wanted to be pregnant. The cramps went away almost immediately, I thanked my Heavenly Father and the evening went on.
Saturday morning I woke up really early and excitedly went in to take the test. The plus sign showed up almost immediately, but one of the lines was a little lighter so I got nervous, but after reviewing the directions I knew!!! I AM PREGNANT!!!!!! I got so excited inside and ran back to bed to tell Nate. But when I got in bed and started cuddling I realized I wanted to do something cute to tell him, so that night I bought a cute little bib that said, "I love my daddy" on it and left if on his bed with a little note from "baby #6". He was SO EXCITED when we went to bed and saw it. I love that he gets excited with me!! I know it's not the same for the Dad, but he sure knows how to help me and get excited with me. I love that he lets me talk about it a lot too. That's pretty much all I've been able to think about for the last few days now!! I love it!! I'm pregnant!!!