Before the pregnancy test

Well, March 13th came and went with no period.
About 3 months ago, Nate and I decided that it was feeling like time to start preparing for our next baby. We felt like there were a few areas that needed some work with our family before we would feel comfortable bringing another child into it. We stopped using our birth control, and started calculating when I would be ovulating. I was kind of anxious to have a baby during the months of August, September, or November, but not Oct., Dec., or Jan, Feb, Mar. for the simple fact that we already have birthdays in those months. I know it sounds silly, but that's how my brain works. OF COURSE I would be fine with whenever, I am not picky, but if I could choose, this is how I would. So anyway. I knew when I needed to get pregnant to have a baby during the months I wanted. We tried for a month or so before realizing that it would probably be smart for me to go to the doctor and figure out what might be wrong with my back and chest (I had been having a lot of pain). I scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN as well to get a pap smear and talk about my painful periods. They found nothing there, and we decided that my endometriosis could very well be back. ("might take a while to get pregnant again" crossed my mind) I double-checked with the doctor that things were okay for us to have another c-section and that he didn't discourage. He had no reservations, told me everything looked great and that while there are more risks with repeats, he didn't think we had anything to worry about.
So I went in for my back and chest pain and that led to LOTS and LOTS of tests and x-rays. It was really discouraging in the getting pregnant area. Nate and I both agreed that (even though it meant missing the November mark and possibly having to have a baby in a month that we already had a bday) we would kind of hold off on trying. I "knew" exactly when I would be ovulating, we avoided doing it during that time (that I thought would be pregnant getting time) and we went on our way. WELL! On March 13th I had my follow-up visit with the Doc to review all the tests I had had done, and basically came to no conclusion other than that my chest pain was possibly gastric and I would need to go in for a really weird stomach test to rule out some weird problem. I assured my doctor that I was not pregnant and couldn't possibly be. So he made arrangements to have those tests done, and he gave me some pills to lower the acid in my stomach. We went home and felt very unresolved and I was really frustrated with the whole thing just because I hate not knowing what is wrong. Not to mention he had pretty much thrown the whole back pain thing out the window and was no longer even looking into it. So anyway. Well, after a few days of missing my period, I started to really wonder. By then I was totally convinced that I was pregnant (in my head) and VERY thrilled!!! I felt like this was meant to be and that it was really exciting, but I didn't want to get my hopes up like I have in the past. I got the idea that maybe it was a weird side effect from the medicine I was taking (yeah, I know it's a stretch), but I wanted to at least find out. So I called the nurse at my doctor's office and left her a message that i had missed my period for a week and wanted to find out for sure if it was possibly a side effect. I wasn't really feeling sick yet, so there wasn't a whole lot to work with as far as symptoms. She told me that that was really not possible, and urged me to take a pregnancy test. So even though I usually like to wait a while (just to kill some time) to take a test, I decided to follow orders and bought a home test. This was Friday the 20th. I wanted to wait until the next morning to get the morning pee. So all Friday night I was just so nervous!!! I don't know why, but I was just so anxious! And it's happened in the past that the day I go to take my test I start my period. I think before #5 that it happened RIGHT AS I went to take the test. That was really hard for me. I know this sounds dumb, coming from someone who already has 5 kids, but it's really hard for me to think of losing one. So anyway. Friday night I started feeling a little crampy (which can be normal for me during pregnancy) but it got me worried that I was going to start. So I said a little prayer asking Heavenly Father to not let me bleed and to please let me be pregnant. I know this must sound so silly, but I really wanted to be pregnant. The cramps went away almost immediately, I thanked my Heavenly Father and the evening went on.
Saturday morning I woke up really early and excitedly went in to take the test. The plus sign showed up almost immediately, but one of the lines was a little lighter so I got nervous, but after reviewing the directions I knew!!! I AM PREGNANT!!!!!! I got so excited inside and ran back to bed to tell Nate. But when I got in bed and started cuddling I realized I wanted to do something cute to tell him, so that night I bought a cute little bib that said, "I love my daddy" on it and left if on his bed with a little note from "baby #6". He was SO EXCITED when we went to bed and saw it. I love that he gets excited with me!! I know it's not the same for the Dad, but he sure knows how to help me and get excited with me. I love that he lets me talk about it a lot too. That's pretty much all I've been able to think about for the last few days now!! I love it!! I'm pregnant!!!