Monday, August 10, 2009

the sea of hormones rages on

Yeah, so I don't know if I just jinxed myself with that last post or what, but I feel like ever since then I have been on the emotional roller coaster of my life!! There have been some interesting changes in our life, but overall, I can only blame the hormones! I feel liek I have NO control over my emotions at all. And every thought that comes through my head is just stuck in there forever until it is beat to death and then kicked a couple more times. It's ridiculous. If I've said it once I've said it a million times.... this part gets worse with each pregnancy. I think if we are to get pregnant again after this, I will certainly end up in a straight jacket. It's bad. So anyway. Just trying to overcome this part. I know that prayers are helping and reading my scriptures helps me to focus. I feel like my mood is SOOOOOO swingy!!! So it's difficult to even get to any of it all, but that has definitely been carrying me. And my sweet husband. He is so patient. I am not sure how he deals with it all...... hopefully he is :) Anyway.
I have been feeling so close to my little one lately. I feel like I know her so well already. It's strange to think I could know someone whom I've never met, but that just tells me that we have. I feel like there is a special closeness between she and Noah as well..... not sure why I feel that way (could be the hormones), but I feel like he is being prepared for her to come either way. It's fun to watch the tender mercies of the Lord witnessed in my everyday life. And why not when such a miracle as the birth of a baby is nearing. I love it. This is one of my most favorite things.

It's nice to know that this too shall pass and that I will make it out alive (most likely). I keep wondering what she will look like and how her delivery and such will go, but it's nice to know that it will all be okay. I feel like Heavenly Father has been blessing me with that knowledge. I'm grateful.

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